700 years a-brewing
Beer town Weitra
‘Lovely’, I thought, ‘an ancient walled town. No wonder the Oldies are anxious to visit.’ But I soon discovered that they had an ulterior motive for visiting Weitra. It’s not only as pretty as a picture, it is also Austria’s oldest brewing town. In fact, this year Weitra is celebrating the 700th anniversary of being accorded brewing rights. I know of several small towns in Ireland which used to boast dozens of pubs, but Weitra beats them all, with no fewer than 35 breweries in its heyday.
Even this little bird brain has the odd coherent thought or two, one of which was, ‘Where there’s beer there must be water. Where did all those breweries get their water from?’ I was astounded to hear that the medieval vaulted cisterns underneath the town hall were only discovered in 1993! It looks like I should have got here earlier.
His Lordship looked like he hadn’t got here a moment too soon either.
The 400-year-old Weitra Castle is rather imposing, certainly not the fairy tale variety. But the interior courtyard with its arcaded terraces is wonderful. Nowadays, it is used as an opera and theatre venue. I loved the four massive upside down umbrellas that not only shelter the courtyard from inclement weather but funnel away the rain through their central posts. Very clever!
The interior of the poor old castle itself is rather bare after having being wantonly destroyed by Russian soldiers in the aftermath of World War II. They slashed paintings, smashed ceramics, glassware and furniture, and ripped up and burned the parquet flooring. Crazy.
The Iron Curtain Exhibition was another reminder of crazy times. I had, of course, seen similar exhibits in the Bunk’Art Museums in Tirana, but it was still shocking.
The juxtaposition of a teenager’s bedroom in West Berlin with one in East Berlin was quite fascinating. I suppose the West Berliner was lucky to have Coca Cola and jeans and lots of gadgets, but you have to say that at least the East Berliner’s room was a lot tidier!
The Wingless Wonders looked more at home in the Beer Experience Exhibition which was fascinating, especially the section on the history of beer. Her Ladyship seemed surprised to learn that, for a long time, beer was mainly brewed by women. It was also women who came up with some of the major developments in beer production. And then men took over, of course.
I was amazed to discover that, in the Middle East thousands of years ago, daily allowances of beer were set by decree. The men’s rations, depending on their jobs, were up to 7 litres of beer a day and women were allowed 3 litres a day. I hope Herself didn’t spot that fun fact!
Ah, you know when you find yourself searching for a word and you just can’t seem to put your wingtip on it? Well, I can finally put a name to that thing that His Lordship suffers from. Cenosillicaphobia – the fear of empty glasses.
The high point of the castle visit was the view from the top of the castle tower. Weitra itself looks amazing from up there and the surroundings are simply stunning. The Oldies, however, only had eyes for Weitra golf course, which reminds me…
Now, they’ll probably kill me if I tell you, so I’ll scribble this down quickly while they’re not looking.
The Dynamic Duo came across a Kompakt Golf in Litschau the other day, the first they had ever seen in Austria. It’s basically a par 3 golf course. Well, the pair of them hadn’t held a golf club in their hands in over a quarter of a century so they were thrilled to have the chance to rekindle their skills. ‘And sure, that game is all in the head. We’re so relaxed these days we’ll probably play brilliantly.’ They said.
I was highly relieved to be left behind at the clubhouse, but unfortunately, I still couldn’t help witnessing the terrible onslaught that ensued. The onslaught on the course, I mean. It wasn’t pretty, so I’ll spare you the blow by blow account.
I’d always thought the Dynamic Duo were into environmental protection but there they were, hacking lumps out of the environment like there was no tomorrow. I’d also always thought that the aim of the game was to get the ball into the hole, not dig the hole yourself!
I did try to avert my eyes to the horrors that were unfolding before me, but there was no escape. Even when they were out of sight, I could still hear the hacking, swiping, socketing, hooking and slicing. I learned a whole new vocabulary that day, I can tell you. Some of it unprintable.
Determined to get their green fees worth, they ploughed on – literally – and played a second eighteen holes. Give him his due, at this stage His Lordship was averaging out at about 3 per hole. Problem was, it was lost balls, not shots.
But all bad things come to an end, thank goodness, and it was a very subdued pair that drove back from what I reckon – based purely on ball-count – must have been their most expensive ever golf outing. And hopefully their last.
