There’s no doubt about it. Her Ladyship and I are well used to life in Austria at this stage. We even manage to cope with the lack of sea. Thankfully, we have been able to make up for that through our travels.

We even get the occasional taste of Ireland in Austria. Her Ladyship was delighted to discover that she could get Irish cheddar cheese here. She can even get Irish butter. But the one thing Her Ladyship misses in our Austrian flat in winter is a fireplace. We’ve central heating, double glazing and insulation. The flat is as warm as toast. But still she moans that, without a fireplace, it just doesn’t feel the same.

Well, she must have been moaning loud enough and long enough because, would you believe it, some bright spark has just sent her a fireplace. A battery operated one. In the post. From Ireland.  Well, it’s probably from China or Taiwan. But no matter. Her Ladyship is thrilled with it!

And it’s not such a bad little yoke, I have to admit. Even His Lordship reckons it looks quite like the real thing. If you screw up your eyes. And suspend disbelief.

The good thing is, from a wooden seagull’s point of view, it is safe. There’s no danger of me catching fire. I might just venture a little closer…

Maybe if I dot a few presents around it … hang up my seagull stocking … don my festive headgear … light it. I mean, switch it on …

Perfect. Instant Irish-Austrian-Taiwanese ambiance.

Happy Christmas everyone!