Serralves Museum of Contemporary Art, Porto

One thing I’ve noticed during many of our trips to large towns and cities is the trend of erecting giant structures spelling out the place name. Now, I know I’m a bit of a bird brain but I’m not an eejit. I don’t need a huge blue sign to tell me where I am. I already know I’m in otroP, for goodness sake!

And now for something completely different…

(That’s what you get from hanging out with Oldies. Old stuff. Like Monty Python quotes.)

After the historic buildings of the old town centre, the Serralves Museum of Contemporary Art was definitely something completely different. Now, modern art is not really my cup of tea, so when His Lordship started trotting out the names of current exhibitions, I barely took them in. Pedro Costa: ‘Company’, Robert Mapplethorpe: ‘Pictures’, Ana Vieira: ‘through the…’, Anish Kapoor: ‘Works, Thoughts, Experiments’.  I was happy, however, to hear that the museum is located in a huge park (18 hectares no less!) with formal gardens, woodlands, a farm and plenty of water features. An oasis in the city, by the sounds of it, and only a short stroll from our hotel. Perfect.

Ultra-modern, pure white, the building itself screamed out ‘modern art museum’ and, even to my untrained eye, I could see that the exhibits were displayed to perfection in the wonderfully laid-out interior. I’ve come to enjoy looking over His Lordship’s shoulder while he snaps away, so I pride myself on being able to appreciate good photography. The Mapplethorpe collection was an eye-opener, though. What a phenomenal photographer he was. Don’t tell His Lordship, but he’s got a long way to go yet!

The name Anish Kapoor didn’t ring a bell until I saw the exhibit of models of his installations, both realised and unrealised. Now I know who he is. He’s Mr Bean! How could I forget his incredible ‘Cloud Gate’ sculpture, affectionately known by locals as ‘The Bean’, which we saw in the Millennium Park in Chicago.

Does that make the model a beanie baby, I wonder?

Like ‘Cloud Gate’, Kapoor’s ‘Sectional Body Preparing for Monadic Singularity’ was over my head. Both figuratively and literally. But I thought it was really cool. I know that’s not a terribly highbrow critique. But then again I don’t have a brow, neither high nor low.

Our walk around the park was wonderfully relaxing and there were still plenty of sculptures along the way to keep the Oldies happy, including yet another shining example of Anish Kapoor’s work.

Did one of the artists leave his tools behind?

I loved the idea of this piece, entitled “Double Exposure”, by the American artist, Dan Graham. I popped inside to get a break from Her Ladyship who was still rabbiting on about the exhibitions. It might have been because it was close to Halloween or something, but I had the horrible feeling I was still being haunted by her, however.

Her Ladyship saved what was, for her, the best for last. She totally flipped over the large pink Art Deco villa tucked away in a corner of the park. It is supposedly one of the most notable examples of Art Deco building in the country, and I must say I couldn’t help but be impressed. Even though I thought it looked a bit like a giant pink marshmallow. (Don’t worry, I didn’t dare tell Herself that!)

The villa’s garden and fountains are beautifully laid out in typical geometric Art Deco style, and the house itself is incredible. With ceilings at least 4 m and the main hall a good 10 m high, I wouldn’t exactly describe it as cosy. But, boy, is it stylish! The bathroom was a howl. Cleverly turned into a circular room within a square space, the over-the-top pink marble fittings simply screamed Art Deco.

The Oldies were so focused on the details of the villa itself, I think they almost forgot that it also serves as an exhibition venue. Even if they didn’t notice, I feel it must be said that the beautiful rooms offered the ideal space and light in which to display the Ana Veira exhibition, ‘through the…’ to its best advantage.

Gosh, it’s rubbing off on me now, all this highfaluting arty stuff. I’d better be careful or I might start growing one of those high brows, god help me!