Harkany and Villany, Hungary

We’ve moved on to our next station, Harkány, and I suspect my owners will be more than happy to dally a while. The campsite is very good value, close to the town centre, practically next door to the spa, the facilities are top notch, and there are very few campers staying here at the moment.

The Oldies are true spa converts by now and couldn’t wait to take the plunge. I was amazed at the size of the Harkány complex. At 14 hectares it is pretty big, even by Hungarian standards. You’d really need a map to find your way around. I’d have loved a go of all the outdoor pools and slides, but, typically, Her Ladyship made a beeline for the hottest thermal pool (38°C for goodness sake!) and spent most of the time soaking there, only getting out occasionally to have a session in the saunas, steam room or jacuzzi upstairs. As if all that wasn’t bad enough, the Terrible Two stank to high heaven afterwards. For two full days! The sulphurous water may work wonders medicinally, but it has a far from pleasant effect on the olfactory organs.

After that odorous experience, Her Ladyship was easily persuaded to get some fresh air and valiantly agreed to join His Lordship on a cycle through the famous Villány wine region. During a brief interlude in the village of Siklós where we stopped to admire the medieval castle and the mosque, Her Ladyship’s resolve waned somewhat when she realised that the cycle route to Villány was a lot longer than she had thought. Miraculously, the whinging wasn’t too bad. I suppose that as the route turned out to be so picturesque, even she had the decency to keep the complaints to a minimum.

Villány is a lovely town, with dozens of pince (wine cellars/taverns) all along the main street. It is, of course, very touristy, but the ultra-modern wine production facilities on the outskirts of town show how seriously they take their wine making here. And they have the international recognition and awards to prove it. Nothing twee about that!

The Oldies had to try the local fare, of course, and ordered a cold platter with a glass of wine each. I thought I was hearing things. Only a glass?! The glasses of wine, however, turned out to be 3dl/30cl. Practically a bucketful! Now, His Lordship claims that the whole thing was a misunderstanding, saying that he thought the waitress was still asking about the water they’d ordered, when in fact, it turned out she was asking about how much wine they wanted. Yeah. Well, that’s his story and he’s sticking to it. Suffice to say, the cycle back to Harkány went swimmingly and Her Ladyship completely forgot to complain. And now His Lordship knows how to oil her wheels…

Things have taken a turn for the worse. A group of bikers set up camp last night and the biggest and hairiest of the lot pitched his tent right next to our caravan. As luck would have it, he turned out to be the loudest snorer too. So this morning Her Ladyship, claiming to be suffering from chronic lack of sleep alongside a serious case of saddle soreness, was only too quick to suggest another trip to the spa.

Yuck! Looks like I’m going to have to re-name that pair.

The Smellies.