The Oldies are hot and sweaty after having spent the entire morning packing up the caravan for the homeward journey and laboriously manoeuvring it onto the tow bar of the car. It is almost noon, the current temperature is 27˚C and the scorching Croatian sun is beating down on the windscreen. The Dynamic Duo start taking it in turns to fiddle with the thermostat in the car…

Now, I don’t think that it can be said that I’ve ever had any unreasonably high expectations of the Oldies. However, considering the fact that, between the pair of them, they have spent more than 30 years in formal education, have over 100 years of life experience and have owned at least 12 different vehicles in their time, it is surely not unreasonable to assume that they could manage to operate the controls of their current car, which, incidentally, they have already owned for over a year, is it?

… having crawled along at about 20 km/h for at least an hour in the process of crossing the Croatian/Slovenian border, it is already mid-afternoon, we are almost half way through Slovenia and the outside temperature has risen to 30˚C. I don’t even want to know what the inside temperature is. The Oldies are beetroot in the face, soaked with perspiration, cranky and dehydrated. (Did I mention that they also forgot to bring water for the journey?) As for me, my only saving grace is that I am made of wood rather than plastic. Otherwise there’d be a seagull-shaped puddle on the upholstery by now.

Just when we are all about to expire, Technical Genius of the Year, a.k.a. Herself, spots a button on the dashboard marked ‘AC’. ‘Oh’, says she with her usual eloquence, and presses said button.

A stream of cool air wafts over us all. Along with the realisation what ‘AC’ stands for.

Give me strength!

We are back at base in Austria and I have finally cooled down. In every sense of the word. And I am even feeling kindly inclined towards the Oldies, believe it or not.

Why? Good question. Well, as if I hadn’t been hot and bothered enough on the interminable journey home, I was also brooding on the fact that the Oldies’ year off is nearly over. Was I going to be plonked back on my window sill with no hope of ever flexing my little wooden wings again? For all their chaotic and disorganised ways, travelling around with the Oldies still beats being stuck at home.

And, guess what? They have just announced their decision to extend their year off indefinitely, continue their travels, and – most importantly – I’m coming with them!

Yesssss!!! No more window sills for me. We’re back on the road again!

Well, once Himself has figured out how to get us back on the road again. His genius Lordship has somehow managed to lock the keys of the garage into the car – which is locked in the garage. And, as I write, the only other key holder is far, far away, cruising along the Danube somewhere between Passau and Belgrade.

Give me strength!