This is great. We appear to be doing a bit of island hopping, this week’s island being l’Île d’Oléron, off the Atlantic coast, south of La Rochelle. Access is easy via the toll-free bridge, and in no time we are installed in our studio apartment which is almost directly on a beach in the fishing village of La Cotinière. Within the first couple of hours of our arrival, we have already had a lovely stroll along the beach and visited the fish market in town. I’m so happy, I feel like bursting into verse …

         ‘One Fish. Two Fish. Red fish. Blue Fish.’ Good old Dr Seuss, he certainly knows how to capture the mood!

I have to laugh at His Lordship when we are on the beach. Unlike Her Ladyship who grew up by the sea and spent practically every dry summer’s day (and many a rainy one) during her childhood at the beach, swimming, picnicking (where sandwiches meant just that), tumbling down sand dunes or getting buried up to the neck in sand, His Lordship refuses point-blank to walk barefoot or even just sit on a sandy beach. He claims that he doesn’t want to get any sand on his camera, but I know better. He has a horror of the stuff! He just doesn’t do sand. Then again, from what I hear about Her Ladyship’s first ever encounter with Austrian ski slopes at the tender age of thirty, Her Ladyship doesn’t really do snow. Whatever you’re used to, I suppose.

So this is me, elegant and composed as usual, enjoying the view with Her Ladyship who is sprawled out on the beach, completely oblivious to the heaps of sand in her hair, her clothes, her shoes… His Lordship, meanwhile, is standing somewhere in the background, his trousers firmly tucked into his socks.

Lighthouses come with the territory. I spotted this cute little one at the entrance of La Cotinière harbour and on a tour around the island on day two, we had a most pleasant walk around the one at the Pointe de Chassiron at the northernmost tip of the island. I was fascinated by the écluses at this headland. These are some of the last remaining man-made sluices on the island which are basically giant fish traps. The fish are brought in by the tide and remain stranded inside the walls of the sluice when it goes back out again. Very clever. Great for us gulls too. What’s not to like about free food?

Later we explored the marshland area in the centre of the island between Boyardville and Saint Pierre d’Oléron. Tourists were dotted around, hiking, cycling and horse riding along the network of pathways through the area. I also saw some of them canoeing through the maze of channels. His Lordship, of course, knew better than to even bother to ask Herself if she’d fancy giving the canoeing a go.

Now these oyster beds are the business. This is my idea of the perfect bed and breakfast!

The Oldies were well impressed with the citadel at Le Château d’Oléron and I have to agree that the scale of it is quite something. However, I preferred the tiny, colourful cabanes, or wooden cabins, at the port which house everything from artists’ workshops to shops to restaurants. My beak was watering at the aromas emanating from some of the fish restaurants. I’d hoped that this one could tempt Her Ladyship inside, but unfortunately she wasn’t biting!

I’ve heard of meals on wheels, but what about meals on stilts?

I thought I would sleep really well last night after all that wonderful Atlantic air, but I had horrific nightmares. First, I dreamed I was being eaten by a giant crab. Then by a shark!

I was almost afraid to go back to sleep, but when I did, I met the girl of my dreams…