We’ve settled nicely into camp life again and, what with the warmer Croatian weather and the ready availability of fresh fish, his lordship is getting back into the cooking too. That’s his department, thank goodness. I shouldn’t tell tales about her ladyship’s culinary exploits (well, if you twist my wing, I might spill the beans someday), but for the moment, let’s just say that her talents lie far, far away from the kitchen.

His lordship, on the other hand, is a fantastic cook. We’re getting used to people calling by the caravan as soon as the aromas start to emerge from the pot, pan or barbecue. ‘What’s for dinner tonight?’ they ask. ‘Mmmm, that smells good. When will it be ready?’ ‘In about half-an-hour’. ‘Ok, we’ll call back then!’ Others just cast envious looks in our direction, salivating profusely as they pass by.

We also get looks of amazement from our fellow campers when they see that, more often than not, his lordship is cooking not just one main course, but two completely different ones. Her ladyship is quite the picky missy. She, the islander, doesn’t particularly like seafood for example, whereas his lordship, who saw the sea for the very first time when he was 15 (poor thing!), absolutely loves fish. So whenever he fancies some sardines or a nice tuna steak for dinner, he also has to cook a meat or vegetarian dish for herself. This often entails making a different sauce and different accompaniments into the bargain. It doesn’t seem to bother him. He has been happily cooking ‘his and hers’ dinners for the last 23 years.

The big eejit.

                                

Sadly, our time in Croatia has already come to an end. The caravan has been cleaned and packed up, ready for transfer to the depot for the winter, and we are heading northwards again. Woe is me! Yet again I am been torn away from the sea! My only consolation is that I’ve heard that France will soon be on the cards. Perhaps I might get a chance to see my beloved Atlantic again. I just hope I don’t end up back in the toilet!

My owners have got wise to the summer traffic and took to the minor roads to avoid any delays on the motorways and at the larger border crossings. It meant we got to see beautiful Motovun again, albeit from a distance, when we stopped off en route for a bite to eat.

This must be the best fast food joint in Croatia. Look at that view! The grub is pretty great too and the portions are huge. Her ladyship could have done with an unhinged jaw like mine to tackle the enormous burger she ordered and his lordship could hardly fit back in behind the steering wheel of the car after the portion of ćevapčići he’d packed away. It was also great value, although my owners had to leave a very large tip. They had let me sit on the table while they were eating and the poor waitress nearly had a heart attack when she saw me.

Sod’s law: probably the only two lunatics travelling with a wooden seagull in tow stop off for a meal – and are served by probably the only ornithophobic waitress in Croatia.